Self Image in Today's Society

Okay, so I know I usually use this blog to update you guys on my weight loss efforts, but today is going to be something completely different. I am just so fired up about this subject I just have to post on it. I was watching this video on Yahoo! about this woman who decided that she was going to go an entire year without looking in a mirror. She struggled with an eating disorder when she was younger, and is at a really healthy weight. I think she looks absolutely beautiful. However, as usual, there are the jerks out there that just HAVE to post mean and hurtful comments about her appearance. I'm currently in the midst of an "argument" with this Yahoo! user by the name of WG5:

Me: People who post mean comments: shut up. Yes you have a right to free speech, but that doesn't mean you should use it to tear other people down just to make you feel better about yourselves. People like you are the reason why so many young women and men are struggling with eating disorders. Why are you so concerned about what other people look like? If she's happy and she's healthy, then that's great. I think she is beautiful. And you all have no right to tell her otherwise.

WG5: I & everyone else have rights to our opinions & whiners like you #$%$ about our opinion, because it isn't to your liking.
I say, "GO F YOURSELF BETCH!"
Criticism will make you stronger, unlike coddling which makes you a sniveling sissy!

Me: There's a difference between criticism and being cruel. Criticism offers HELPFUL suggestions for improvement. How is saying "If I looked like her, I'd avoid mirrors, too. She's ugly." HELPFUL? Guess what? IT'S NOT! And how does being supportive and telling someone they're beautiful make them a "sniveling sissy?" If anything, THAT makes them stronger. THAT gives them confidence in themselves. And I'm not going to stoop to your level by telling you to go "f yourself" because I don't say things like that. All I can say is I wish you the best and that someone shows you a bit of kindness and support. Maybe then you'll see how helpful that is.

WG5: Talking through your hass, as usual.
Possibly one day you will mature & understand the difference between criticism & hate. Till then, live in your little happy world of flowers & smiles, where everyone is nice to all people. LOL

Me: I love how you're calling me immature simply because I'm giving someone a compliment. If anything, THAT makes me mature. I don't cower behind a computer, "criticizing" people by saying things I wouldn't have the guts to say face to face. And until YOU mature, you can live in your own little crappy world where everyone is hateful to others and giving compliments and support is frowned upon.

Me: And I would also like to point out that I'm not the one who said "GO F YOURSELF BETCH!" That's not really helping you in the whole "maturity" case.

While I do agree that everyone does have a right to their opinion, there is a difference between expressing your opinion and being downright hateful. Just reading some of the comments on this video nearly made me cry. Unfortunately, we live in a world where image is everything. Everyone, especially women, are held up to this "perfect" standard, and if you don't fit that standard, you're not what society considers "beautiful." 

According to the South Carolina Department of Mental Health:

• It is estimated that 8 million Americans have an eating disorder – seven million women and one million men
• One in 200 American women suffers from anorexia
• Two to three in 100 American women suffers from bulimia
• Nearly half of all Americans personally know someone with an eating disorder (Note: One in five Americans suffers from mental illnesses.)
• An estimated 10 – 15% of people with anorexia or bulimia are males
• Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness
• A study by the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders reported that 5 – 10% of anorexics die within 10 years after contracting the disease; 18-20% of anorexics will be dead after 20 years and only 30 – 40% ever fully recover
• The mortality rate associated with anorexia nervosa is 12 times higher than the death rate of ALL causes of death for females 15 – 24 years old
• 20% of people suffering from anorexia will prematurely die from complications related to their eating disorder, including suicide and heart problems
• Anorexia is the 3rd most common chronic illness among adolescents
• 95% of those who have eating disorders are between the ages of 12 and 25
• 50% of girls between the ages of 11 and 13 see themselves as overweight
• 80% of 13-year-olds have attempted to lose weight [by starvation or purging]

I realize that I do struggle with my weight, and I realize that obesity in America is at an all time high. However, telling people that they are ugly, fat, or any other derogatory terms is NOT helpful in any way, shape, or form. If anything, it forces them to think, "Well, why bother then?" I know there are times when people try to use that as a motivator, but guess what dears? That only sets them up for failure. Those comments are hurtful, and they never go away. Did you guys know that it takes TEN positive compliments to get rid of ONE negative comment? THAT'S how much of an effect negativity has. If you're trying to motivate someone into losing weight, how about instead of telling them "YOU'RE SO FAT! YOU NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT!", invite them to take a walk with you. Invite them to join you at the gym to be your work out buddy. Invite them to try yummy, healthy foods with you. And when they do start to lose weight, compliment them. Tell them they look healthier. Happier. And let them know that weight loss is not all about looks. 

Another way you can set people up for failure is by comparing them to others. Constantly asking them, "Do you want to look like [insert name of overweight person that you know here]?" doesn't help. It also doesn't help by asking them if they want to look like one of those stick thin models in magazines. That's giving them an unrealistic goal. No matter what, they will not look like that model. Do you know why? Because NO ONE looks like that model. Even that model doesn't look like that in real life. It's called "airbrushing."

If you're losing weight simply because you want to "look better" or "improve your appearance," it's not going to work. Lose weight to be healthier, live longer, and just have a better lifestyle. Another way you can set yourself up for failure? Losing weight for other people. It's sweet to want to lose weight for your husband, wife, children, parents, or friends. But I guarantee you those people will love you unconditionally. You have to want to lose weight for YOU, and no one else. Because it's YOUR body, and no one else's. And you have to love yourself enough to want to do what you need to do to be happy and healthy. Whether that be losing weight, or even gaining it. 

Don't let society dictate what's beautiful. If society had its way, every woman in the world would be a size zero, have fake boobs, fake hair, fake noses, and wear about an inch of makeup at ALL times. Every man would have perfect coiffed hair, six packs, and walk around without shirts on at all times. Believe it or not, everyone is built differently, and everyone is beautiful in their own way. Ultimately, if you're happy and healthy, that's all that matters. Never forget: you ARE beautiful. No matter what anyone says. You are beautiful.