Wow...

Holy cow. It really has been quite a while since I've posted on here. You know what I love the most? The fact that some of you who have been reading my blog have actually came up and asked me why I haven't posted lately. That really just makes me feel fantastic and it tells me that people actually care. And I love you guys and thank you for all of your support. This is a post that is telling you that I have really started taking the bull by the horns. Starting with my laziness.

Last Tuesday, I took my very first Zumba class. It was hard, and within the first few minutes I was sweating bullets, which goes to show how out of shape I truly am. The next day, I was so incredibly sore. But you know what? It was a good sore. The kind of soreness that you get after you've worked muscles and parts of your body that you haven't worked in a long while. The old me would've just given up after that first day with how sore I was. But lately, I've just gotten so sick of being scared. Scared that I wouldn't be able to do what I've set out to do. Scared of what other people might think of me. So scared, I'd give up without even really trying. Last week, I made the decision that that attitude of mine needed to go. Along with another attitude.

For so long, I've been trying to lose weight for all the wrong reasons: trying to make myself look good, trying to please everyone, and trying to get people off my back for my appearance. Finally, I realized that I'm trying to lose weight for everyone except for one person. Me. I think I've just been valuing other people's opinions of me rather than my own. Now, I'm not saying that other people's opinions don't matter, because they do. What I'm saying is that finally, after years and years of self doubt, I've finally learned to love myself. I've finally learned to care about myself and make myself as healthy as I deserve to be.

I think the one thing that finally made me realize that I need to do something about my weight is something my mom said to me. She told me that, with my weight, I have a risk of diabetes. And if I develop diabetes, I cannot have children. Now, anyone who knows me knows that I absolutely adore children, and cannot wait to be a mother. Out of all the dreams that I have for my life, being a mom takes precedence. To have the ability to have children taken away from me would absolutely destroy me. And I will NOT let that ability be taken away from me.

So from now on, this will not only be a weight loss journal, but it will be a journal depicting every minor success along the way of my weight loss journey. Whether it's weight related or not. I'm ready to start, and I WILL be successful.

Love,
Skylar "DoctorHoo" Beth